Time Flies When You're Having Fun.

Last weekend, I went to Khanom to help out with a fundraiser/beach day for the Sri Thammarat Home for Boys, the orphanage in Nakhon. I know I have mentioned this before, but Khanom (which, by the way, means bread in Thai) is one of my most favorite places to “get away” to in Thailand. Close to Nakhon, it’s an easy escape when you want or need one. There is a bar there- CC’s Beach Bar- owned by a really great guy named Charlie. When I was there about a month ago (when we splurged and stayed at Aava), Charlie and I talked for a good long while about this event. How he was getting sponsors, like Coca Cola, to donate products and supplies, and how he was recruiting many foreigners, who now call the Suratthani and Nakhon provinces their home, for their time, money, and resources to make this dream of his a reality. All he wanted was to give these kids a day at the beach that they would never forget. He sourced boat rides along the shore, games and activity stations, kayak rides, a banana boat!, and a huge feast of food and treats. Then, he recruited a Nakhon teacher, who has been here a while, to coordinate it all, get teams of foreign teachers together, and execute it. I can’t believe all she did and was able to do, and how wonderfully she made it all come together. These kids were not lacking anything- they had bags and bags of toys given as prizes, and the day was filled with smiles and shrieks of excitement and the most positive energy.  After a busy week, I really had to push myself to go, but I am so glad I did.  

Originally, I was assigned to the scavenger hunt activity, but about an hour into it, the scavenger hunting was over, and I found myself knee deep building sand castles with the kids. Later in the afternoon, I took a boat ride along the shore with a group of about 10 kids who looked like they were between the ages of 4 and 10. Many of them had never been to the sea before let alone on a boat, so this whole experience had to have been a complete sensory overload. At times, the ride was silent except for the motor and splashing water- with the children watching the land and the water as we putted along, some with the most contemplative looks on their faces, some with just huge grins, and us two teachers just watching their faces and smiling for reasons of our own. I kept thinking about what these little children must have been feeling, thinking, what their imaginations must have been churning out about what they were doing and how they were making sense of it all. I thought about what it felt like to be that young and excited about something so foreign. There was one little boy, maybe six years old, who started off sitting next to me, then scooted down to the side. Then, gradually as the ride progressed, he scooted over a little bit at a time, until he was sitting in front of me, on my toes, his back against my knees, leaning on me and looking out at the sea, pointing out the big homes along one section of the beach, and letting out little excited gasps every once in a while. Adorable. It was a really good feeling, being there on that boat.

The end of the day was spent wading through the water, trying to corral these kids and make sure they were staying safe. All other activities had ceased and it was just pure water chaos. My friend Bliss, an Aussie who teaches here, also keeps a blog, and in it she wrote about one scenario in the water that I thought was really cute:

Many of the kids had never been to the beach before and I stopped a few of them drinking the sea water. I assumed they were doing it when they got thirsty but one of the other teachers, who speaks better Thai than me, asked a boy why he was drinking the sea water and he said he wanted to keep the ocean with him when he left. How beautiful. I ams o happy they were able to come along and have a wonderful day.  – Bliss, hellomissbliss.blogspot.com

At about 3:45, things began wrapping up and all of us teachers were dragging children out of the water, only to have them run back in, only to have us drag them back out, only until we finally found a way to put an end to the game we had unwittingly created. They simply couldn’t get enough of the ocean. I couldn’t either, as a child (actually, I still can’t- nothing’s better than being salty and sandy from a day at the beach. I LOVE IT.) It felt really good to be a part of something like this, and to be able to play with kids at the beach all day long- I miss those days.

One teacher was explaining to me how the beach day was giving him anxiety- the thought of orphans made him really sad. Seeing their faces, watching them all day- it wasn’t sad at all. It was wonderful. They were so happy. Kids are, after all, just kids. To them, this was a fun day at the beach- they weren’t wondering if we were judging them, pitying them, wishing better things for their lives. To them, on this day, their life was wonderful. And I feel lucky to have been a part of it.

Trying to keep him from running back into the water at the end of the day!

(To see some great photos, visit Bliss’ blog… I unfortunately forgot my camera.)

My Favorite "Rap-Song" Ever

Today, I woke up at 4 o’clock in the morning. I left my apartment about a half an hour later, and drove the unusually quiet 5-minute commute to school. While the rest of Nakhon seemed to be sleeping the darkness away, NICS was ablaze with light, and the library was filled with… ladyboys.

Our Mandarin Teacher

Getting A "Gentle" Application of

the Inch-Thick Makeup

A Student Getting His

Makeup Done

          Yes, that's right. Ladyboys were our makeup artists, hair stylists, and wardrobe coordinators. And they were working hard when I arrived on prepping our students for the parade that would be taking place in 5 hours. I thought I had it hard having to wake up at four, but some of our students had been up since 12 or 1 o’clock. Some didn’t even go to sleep at all. It was insane. I couldn't believe the good moods everyone was in- the Thai staff, the kids, and most of all, the makeup/costume/hair people, who had to process over 50 people!

Karn- as a Japanese Man. Note the Lack of Daylight Out the Window... 

All I knew was that we would be participating in a parade for some festival. Any time I asked why I would be getting dressed up in costume, I was told “This is a parade!”, or “This is a festival!” When I asked why a festival/parade was taking place, they said it was for a procession to the wat- Wat Phra Mahathat- only arguably the most famous/important wat in Southern Thailand (see previous blog entries or Wikipedia.) Apparently, it contains a relic of Buddha- one of his teeth! Either way, what I was being told was not quite so informative, so I asked other teachers. They told me it was to celebrate the 10^th Lunar Month. I asked why the 10^th Lunar Month was so special, and everyone shrugged. So, I asked Google.

Part of a Float

Waiting for the Parade to Start

Boys in the Back of A Truck

Waiting and Waiting

Our Students Also Waited... and Waited

Thailand is SO Colorful!

Some of the Parade Sights....

Some of the King's Wives

Waiting to Begin the Procession

According to my not-so-extensive research, I would liken the festival of the 10^th Lunar Month, or Sat Duan Sip, or “Rap-Song Tai Yai” (obviously, for those of you who know about my affinity for rap songs, I like this name better) to All Hallow’s Eve (or what I know of it) or to Dia de Los Muertos (or what I know of that.) It is Thai Buddhist belief that during the 14^th to 15^th days of this month, the spirits of ancestors come back to this world for a visit. So the people, generally afraid of upsetting ghosts, especially ghosts of family members who might be a little upset with how the family name has been upheld/abandoned, tend to want to make some merit during this time. Thus, extensive and elaborate offerings are made to the Thai Monks. This is where the parade comes in, as it is essentially one gigantic procession of people bringing gifts to the monks for merit.

The Dead

One of the King's wives...
 and a Korean

Pharaoh

Almost all of our students participated in the parade. I was so tired, but so excited when I got to the school and saw everyone dressed in “international”  and Thai costumes. One group of students portrayed the King of Thailand and his wife, secondary wives, sons, and servants. Then another group was dressed in costumes from around the world- circa 1500-1900 A.D. We had Japan, Korea, Elizabethan and Victorian England, France… Oh! Please forgive the date estimations previously stated- there were also a couple of Ancient Egyptian pharaohs. All kidding aside, everyone was beautifully dressed. We were excited to get our hair and makeup done because everyone looked so great! I didn't recognize a lot of the students at first- SO much makeup was used. We couldn’t wait to get our costumes on and be a part of the parade. By the time 7:45 rolled around, everyone was looking exquisite. 

I Prefer To Remember Myself

Like This

Except for me and Clare. We weren’t sure what we were dressed as, but our principal, who can sometimes be more awkwardly blunt than me, said he couldn’t figure out if we were vampires or transvestites from the turn of the century (1900, not 2000.) Unfortunately, he was right. Not only that, but between the makeup and the lace shirts and the rough skirts we were given, and the hot Thai sun beating down on us, we were very, very uncomfortable.

They're 13 But Look Like They're 25
(and when I told them this, they were insulted: "Ew!
That's SO OLD, teacher!"- excuse me?!?)

 I’m going to end this by saying it was an experience. Not quite what I thought it was going to be, but nothing ever is here! The other people’s costumes were beautiful. The floats were amazing- intricately designed, come made completely of flowers and fruit, and despite everyone running on little to no sleep, everyone was in a great mood.  I got some great photos and had a good time with the kids.
     One thing: I wish I didn't look like one of the ladyboys who made me up.
     I can now add "Dressed in Complete Thai Costume for a Parade" to my list of things I've done in Thailand. Right below "Officiated a Spelling Bee at a Local University" and "Guest Lecturer at English Camp" (Twice!). 
Don't worry- the Spelling Bee was amazing- there will hopefully be a post about that relatively soon. Just waiting to get my other camera back. 

My Virtually Unrecognizable Yet Beautiful Students in Costume

NICS Teachers & Faculty

Almost Completely Made of Fruit and Flowers!

Meet Frank and E(a)rnest

I don’t like to think about it, because it hurts. But lately so many things have bubbled up from the depths that I have been thinking about characteristics of many people in my life. My family, my friends, my students. Acquaintances, associates, peers, elders. Here it is- morals, ethics, values- to an extent, we follow rules set by society, religion, institutions, sometimes without even thinking about what it is we are really doing. Really, we only follow those rules because of rules we set for ourselves. Sometimes it's good to ask ourselves questions: What are our limitations? What are we willing to put up with and endure in order to achieve a desired result? What are we willing to do to get what we want? 

Many of us are guided by our own selfish needs and desires. I don’t think this is wrong. It’s basic instinct. What I do think is wrong is not stopping to weigh in the needs and desires of others, to not realize that we are not the only ones affected by our actions. We, as humans, have this unique capacity to feel- to empathize, sympathize. This should not be ignored. Before you do something that will directly affect others, or even indirectly affect others, ask yourself: If someone did this to me, how would I feel? It seems so incredibly simple. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Unfortunately, easier said than done. Cheating in life, cheating in love, cheating in academics, at work, at games!- at some point, everyone has accepted some level of dishonesty in an attempt to get what they want or to avoid facing the consequences of their actions. It’s not right, but it’s life. That being said, if you choose to be dishonest, you should also choose to accept the consequences. It’s only fair. I think people need to think more before they act. Really think.

When people lie, when they cheat, it’s more of a slap in the face than anything else. It’s like calling the other person stupid. When people don’t respect each other enough to honor one another’s integrity, it’s sad- we are all in fact human. Where is honor? Where is integrity? Where is accountability? Where is respect for others? If you’re afraid to admit to someone that you did something, chances are, it was wrong, and you shouldn’t have done it in the first place. So, you made a mistake. Don’t make another by being dishonest about it. Own up to it. Show that person you respect him or her as an equal, honor him or her as a person, and explain your error, then maybe together come up with a solution. If a solution can’t be reached, hey, at least YOU tried. At least you did the right thing. At least you were honest. At some level, you're leading by example. Good for you. 

Sadly, rather than pay for mistakes and accept the consequences, many people would rather lie. People would rather hurt others than take responsibility for their actions. You want to keep something you’re not entitled to, so you’re willing to put others in the line of fire. You don’t want to see the pain you’ve caused someone, even though it will be forced out at some point, so you keep quiet as long as you possibly can. You don’t want to feel even more guilty, so you allow someone else to take the blame.

 Partly, this rant comes from being upset with myself for allowing myself to trust other people so fully. When someone tells me something, I believe it. Why would they lie? I wouldn’t, so I expect they wouldn’t either. And then I get down on myself. How could I have been so naïve? And I think I shouldn’t trust people so much. I start to feel my faith in the goodness of people slipping away. But then I think about it more, and it only makes me more stubborn. I will NOT lower my expectations. I expect honesty and integrity from those in my life, because that is what I strive to give to them. So, I will continue to be as honest as possible about my thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and actions. Not ostentatious about them, as I feel this little blurb might be, unfortunately, but honest. And I only hope that people will give the same in return, not just to me, but to everyone. Especially the ones they care about, which obviously includes themselves as well.

I have an ego.

People, I think, really are creatures of habit. We get comfortable with what we know, and change can be a tad threatening. I would definitely say I am a creature of habit. I adapt to change well, and I embrace it (Hello, Thailand!), but it still gives me anxiety. Starting on Monday, I will no longer be teaching 8^th grade English. With the staff changes at the school, people have been shifted around and I will now be teaching 7^th grade. I understand the principal’s reasons for doing this- it’s better for the 7^th grade students, who are severely behind in English language proficiency- and while I know it will also be good for me, I am still a little sad about it. And anxious.

People, I think, also have egos. I have one. Currently, my ego is feeling a bit insecure. At school, another teacher will be taking my place as 8^th grade English teacher. I know he will do a good job. But here’s the thing: There’s that feeling- knowing that I am replaceable. That my beloved students might find in their teacher someone who is better than me. I do know that there are probably a couple students who would rather have an angry buffalo as their teacher than me, and I’m okay with that- you can’t please everyone. But, I think a majority of my students think I am a good teacher- even though I am very strict and sometimes give them “too much homework” and quizzes almost every Friday. But what if this new teacher comes in and they like him more? I know this might sound bad, and I don’t mean it to be. I felt it as a nanny too. When I left, I only wanted the best possible person to come in and replace me. And then she did. She was amazing and she is a wonderful person. And the girls LOVED her. While this made me so happy, it was still a shot to the ego. And you can’t help but wonder, when you move on in any part of your life- relationships, friendships, anything, and know that someone else will eventually be filling up the space you once claimed: Will I be forgotten? Will it all of a sudden be found out that I actually wasn’t so great? I, unfortunately, struggle with this a lot. It’s something I need to get over, I know.

Fortunately, I have a whole new group of students to get to know and love, and that is exciting. And, I will still have the 8^th grade for homeroom every day. While it might not be a whole 90 minutes of instruction, it will be 10, and that’s better than nothing. It might even make that homeroom time more meaningful than it is now. Unfortunately, it means I have just one more thing to plan. I am already the chair for our Focus of the Month Program, heading the Creative Writing Club after school- two new things in addition to what I already do. And I’m the 7^th grade science sub for two weeks until our science teacher gets here… Phew! Thinking about it is so overwhelming! And it kind of cancels out the exciting factor right now.

Needless to say, I am definitely feeling the weight of my work right now. And that, combined with a few other things, has made me into a recluse this weekend. I’ve been curled up in bed, with my mug of tea and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, rain pouring outside, Trueblood on my computer, writing lesson plans, unit plans and curriculum maps. And thinking and thinking and thinking. Just trying to stay afloat.

Today was a good day.

This whole week, the principal’s been out because he had to make a visa run to Penang. What I expected to be chaos turned out to be smooth sailing for the week. I took over some of his duties, found one new teacher, interviewed three more, had a meeting with a parent, and led the staff meeting on Wednesday.

I also noticed this week that my students are really starting to get into writing. Their quickwrites have expanded tremendously. What used to be a few contrived sentences has turned into a good, solid page of words and thoughts and opinions. When I tell them to finish up their last sentence so we can begin the next activity, I actually hear groans. They have things to say, and they’re getting good at saying them. And apparently, now they don’t want to stop. I love this.

This afternoon, loud, cracking thunder and lightning brought with it a torrential storm just as school was letting out. Not wanting to drive our bikes in the rain, we teachers decided to have a movie afternoon in the auditorium. At around 5:00 PM, after the students ate dinner, we invited them up with us and Teacher Bert from another school in Nakhon to watch an old favorite- Zoolander. We had a pretty good turnout- about 35 students- and had popcorn and ice cream and oreos and gummies- a real, proper movie feast! Unexpected, but well-accepted and enjoyed.  The students actually asked us for English subtitles. We laughed a lot and it was a well-spent afternoon. It’s really great that we can just do something like that at our school, and that the students want to spend their free time there, with us.

This evening marked my first (and hopefully only) mishap on my motorbike. Yesterday, I went to the mechanic to get the air in my tires filled and my oil changed. What I really think I need, as rainy season is coming up- or maybe it’s already started- are new tires. For hot, dry season, my tires are okay, but for wet roads, as I think I may have experienced tonight, I need a bit more tread.

Don’t worry (Mom!), I am not hurt. Basically what happened is I was turning into a friend’s driveway and my bike lost its… footing?... and I fell over. Going less than 5 miles perhour. Really, I just fell over on my bike. I imagine it looked like when one of those mytonic goats that they reported  about on the National Geographic Channel falls over. Or maybe a myotonic cow, because they’re bigger. Either way, no real problem. My elbow is scraped and I have a bruise on my thigh. I blame it not on my driving, but on my lack of knowledge about  motorbikes during the rainy season. Next week, I’ll get new tires. I also think my tires have a bit too much air in them.

And just when I thought no one saw, a car and a motorbike pulled over. Then Teacher Clare, who was already at our friend’s house called out, “Are you okay?” Sigh. Yes. I’m fine.

My Top 5

A self-proclaimed rival whom I am pretty sure is soon to proclaim to himself an ally has been asking me to compile lists. “Top 5” lists. Of virtually everything. And while his constant questions/demands have been a bit overwhelming, it been a great distraction from the school chaos that is happening right now, as it has really got me thinking and re-thinking about why I’m here, what has led me here and what I have gleaned from this experience as a whole. Sometimes, when you get so involved in something and it’s not going well, you fail to see the bigger picture. You only focus on the bad. I would say I tend to do this- not all the time, but occasionally. My sense of humor thankfully refuses to stray too far from me during these times, and making jokes about it helps. But being able to think about the good is, at certain intervals, difficult. So today, when I should have been reviewing other teacher’s lesson/unit plans, I thought about it good and hard. And here is what I’ve come up with:

Top 5 Things I Love About This Place…

1.  Teaching. Hands down, number one. I love, love, love, spending my days questioning, guiding, disciplining, pushing (mentally, not physically), laughing with and watching students as they develop their beliefs and values, and begin to really define themselves. I love reading their words and helping them expand their minds through reading and stories and to express themselves more effectively in English. It makes my heart feel so full and I feel good about myself and what I’m doing.
2.  Living In Paradise. Pure Paradise. I love looking out the window of my classroom and seeing green green fields and palm trees swaying and pink and yellow and blue buildings stained gray in places from the mildew and humidity. And I’m never cold (except when I am in a building and the air-con is on full blast.) And escaping to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world on the weekends is so wonderful. Railay Beach and Koh Phangan and Khanom- my three favorites. Breathtakingly beautiful beaches with stunning waters and powdery sand. (There are things I don’t like- I’m so over the bugs. But the climate makes it worth it… most of the time.)
3. How I’ve Come To Appreciate Things I Previously Took For Granted . Like cheese and hot water. Every tie to my life at home suddenly seems so precious- a top sheet on my bed (they don’t exist here in S. Thailand, these are strictly imports), a glass of wine from an actual bottle (so what if it’s Carlo Rossi?), not having bugs in my house/shoe/desk drawer, a skype date, an email in my inbox, a BOOK!, a package, postcard, or letter, or an organized dinner party with a few close friends here.
4. The People I’ve Met. Not all of them, let’s be honest. But, I have met wonderful people who have directly and indirectly challenged me to think about things that I would have never considered- these people get me outside the box, and I am grateful for that. Everyone here- the foreign teachers, my students, and those I have met while traveling- they’ve exposed me to so many new things. And, I have made friends and developed relationships with people here that have and will continue to extend beyond this experience. In addition, these people have shown me, through example, how to embrace exploring and living.



Som Tam 

5. Som Tam. This stuff is SO good. At least three times a week. The spicier, the better. I never ate it in the States, and I hope they have it somewhere so that when I go back, I can keep eating it.  This is kind of the way I feel about cottage cheese at home. I haven’t found it here yet, but somewhere’s bound to have it, right? I love that stuff, too.
6. Am I allowed to have a 6th? Because I have one. I know we are really into the top 5’s, but another thing is: I Love How This Place Has Broadened My Horizons. I swore I wouldn’t get a motorbike. Then, I got one. It’s still not an activity I love- I prefer walking. But I’m doing it. I all of a sudden ENJOY bananas. I think they taste different here, which might account for this change in preference of this food. I’ve been exposed to teaching internationally, something I never really considered as a reality. Not only that, I’ve been able to explore facets of education I might not have been able to really have a chance to be involved in in California. At least not right away. I’ve jumped off cliffs (well, one cliff) and tried so many new things and been open to so much and been able to read so much and so much more. I’m still me, but I have developed and expanded my schemas.

This weekend, we went to one of my most favorite places- Khanom. After a crazy and frustrating week, it felt good to get away. We splurged a bit and got a really nice room at Aava, relaxed and sunbathed, and waited until it was dark enough and then took a night swim. This was extra special, because I have been waiting 8 months to see the phosphorescence that everyone has been telling me about in the ocean- where the sea looks like it’s flecked with glitter and every time you move, the a glimmering trail follows. On Saturday night, with the moon half-full and pretty low tide, I finally saw it. We waded out into the calm sea up to our waists, then pushed ourselves fully into the water. With my arms in front of me, I pushed out to the sides and watched with awe and wonder as the ocean began to glisten from the movement. It was just amazing. I have never seen anything like it. We were glowing! Our group played in the water for about an hour, then some of the guys built a bonfire and we all stood around it, drying ourselves and warming up and chatting. I woke up this morning, went to breakfast in the open-air restaurant, lounged by the pool and took a little walk along the beach. AND I saw pink dolphins for the second time! It was perfect. #2, #4, and #6. I got to do 3 of the things I love this weekend, and I am so grateful.

All of a sudden, the visa/work permit fiasco feels (almost) worth it.

My Little Escape- Khanom

*** I would like readers to note that while writing this, I paused to tighten my hairband and a bug fell out of my hair. REALLY? Thailand- you give me so much to be happy about and then you put bugs in my hair. Ugh. Enough with the bugs!!!

No Joke.

Things I did today until 1:30pm:

1. Went down to the office to check on the status of my work permit. My contract was on its way to the mayor to be signed. Apparently he chose not to sign it last night.
2. Corrected papers, quizzes, and got my gradebook completely up-to-date.
3. Taught complements, reviewed quizzes, went over plot development, continued reading "All-American Slurp" to my grade 8's.
4. Went downstairs and checked on the status of my work permit. Nothing. My contract was still with the mayor.
5. Conducted an interview and showed the prospective teacher around our beautiful campus. This took about an hour and a half.
6. Went downstairs for her to be interviewed by the Director and Thai Principal. Also, checked on my contract/work permit. Still, nothing.

Just so everyone is clear, my visa expires/expired today, August 17th, 2011. All government offices close at 3:30 at the latest. At this point, it is 1:30. Clearly, I begin to get a little more than upset- it's visible in my face, although I am trying to keep a calm, cool and collected composure.

The principal checks on my paperwork that should have been prepared to take to the employment office. It is non-existent. However, paperwork for me to go to Penang for a visa run is all ready. I cannot go on a visa run. I cannot get another non-immigrant B visa. Nor do I care to spend my own money on something I wouldn't have had to do if the school had been more prepared and listened to me when I began asking for this over two months ago.

So, at 1:30pm, with only 2 hours left to process everything, my contract is still sitting on the mayor's desk at city hall. My paperwork for my work permit hasn't even begun to be compiled.

THEN, they tell me they need me to go to the hospital to get medical clearance to work. Again. Because it expired in March. 

So, naturally, my voice elevates a little bit (NOT yelling, just expressing extreme concern) and I begin to really hammer into them that literally, I need to leave the school forever if this doesn't happen in two hours.
All of a sudden, people begin rushing. The Thai administrators rush to the mayor's office. The administrative staff begins rushing around the school, papers flying everywhere, getting my documents together. And I rush to the hospital.

Things I learned today:

1. I don't have syphilis. Why this is important to the Thai Ministry of Education over, say, tuberculosis, I will never understand. But this was the "medical clearance" I had to get. Yay, no syphilis!! 250 baht well-spent.
2. The mayor can make anyone do anything anytime. You just have to get him to say it, and to sign your contract, which, apparently, is the hardest part.
3. Whenever anyone tells you they cannot do something until tomorrow, or that something is going to take an hour, they can really get it done in about five minutes. They just need to be pushed (not physically, but by, say, a time constraint and the government). And sometimes, you need to cry. It makes them feel bad and they don't want to see it, so they want to get you out of their workspace as soon as possible.

Now, I have my work permit. It only took the entire administrative team to stop everything they were doing today and focus only on me. Literally, the whole school was put on hold. It was ridiculous.

Tomorrow, I have to pay for my visa at immigration. Plus the fine for being late by one day.
And you know the clincher? I still am not 100% guaranteed that I am okay. It all lies in the hands of the immigration officer tomorrow. Who, hopefully, will have the heavy hand of the mayor resting squarely on his back.

Sometimes, at the end of a long day, a glass of wine is the best thing in the world. Someone, get this girl a glass of wine.