I have just spent the most wonderful weekend away… all by myself. I am reaching back as far as I can remember, back to the beginning of my time here in Thailand, and I am pretty certain that this has been my first weekend away, on my own, with no one else. (I don’t count the two nights I spent alone in Lombok, Indonesia, while I was sick with the mystery illness that I was pretty certain was a deadly combo of malaria and dengue, but if I did count them, then I guess I’m lying.)
It’s been perfect. PERFECT. And of course, even though I brought my camera, I took no photos. Instead, I spent a lot of time gazing lovingly at everything, taking it all in, and then squeezing my eyes shut really tight, seeing if I could capture the perfect image of everything I love about this place in my mind, burn it into the backs of my eyelids, so that every time I close my eyes, this is what I see. Then I would open my eyes, check my work- is that palm tree there in my mind? and those boats on the horizon? good… and do it again. Yes, odd. But how else am I going to make sure I never forget this, or my exact feelings at this point in time?
I love when you love something so much that your heart kind of feels like it’s swelling up in your chest and you just feel like every breath you take isn’t enough. And when you leave something or someone behind, it makes you love it that much more, so when you come back to it, you appreciate it with your whole self. You just want to drink all the happiness in.
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