Today was a good day.

This whole week, the principal’s been out because he had to make a visa run to Penang. What I expected to be chaos turned out to be smooth sailing for the week. I took over some of his duties, found one new teacher, interviewed three more, had a meeting with a parent, and led the staff meeting on Wednesday.

I also noticed this week that my students are really starting to get into writing. Their quickwrites have expanded tremendously. What used to be a few contrived sentences has turned into a good, solid page of words and thoughts and opinions. When I tell them to finish up their last sentence so we can begin the next activity, I actually hear groans. They have things to say, and they’re getting good at saying them. And apparently, now they don’t want to stop. I love this.

This afternoon, loud, cracking thunder and lightning brought with it a torrential storm just as school was letting out. Not wanting to drive our bikes in the rain, we teachers decided to have a movie afternoon in the auditorium. At around 5:00 PM, after the students ate dinner, we invited them up with us and Teacher Bert from another school in Nakhon to watch an old favorite- Zoolander. We had a pretty good turnout- about 35 students- and had popcorn and ice cream and oreos and gummies- a real, proper movie feast! Unexpected, but well-accepted and enjoyed.  The students actually asked us for English subtitles. We laughed a lot and it was a well-spent afternoon. It’s really great that we can just do something like that at our school, and that the students want to spend their free time there, with us.

This evening marked my first (and hopefully only) mishap on my motorbike. Yesterday, I went to the mechanic to get the air in my tires filled and my oil changed. What I really think I need, as rainy season is coming up- or maybe it’s already started- are new tires. For hot, dry season, my tires are okay, but for wet roads, as I think I may have experienced tonight, I need a bit more tread.

Don’t worry (Mom!), I am not hurt. Basically what happened is I was turning into a friend’s driveway and my bike lost its… footing?... and I fell over. Going less than 5 miles perhour. Really, I just fell over on my bike. I imagine it looked like when one of those mytonic goats that they reported  about on the National Geographic Channel falls over. Or maybe a myotonic cow, because they’re bigger. Either way, no real problem. My elbow is scraped and I have a bruise on my thigh. I blame it not on my driving, but on my lack of knowledge about  motorbikes during the rainy season. Next week, I’ll get new tires. I also think my tires have a bit too much air in them.

And just when I thought no one saw, a car and a motorbike pulled over. Then Teacher Clare, who was already at our friend’s house called out, “Are you okay?” Sigh. Yes. I’m fine.

My Top 5

A self-proclaimed rival whom I am pretty sure is soon to proclaim to himself an ally has been asking me to compile lists. “Top 5” lists. Of virtually everything. And while his constant questions/demands have been a bit overwhelming, it been a great distraction from the school chaos that is happening right now, as it has really got me thinking and re-thinking about why I’m here, what has led me here and what I have gleaned from this experience as a whole. Sometimes, when you get so involved in something and it’s not going well, you fail to see the bigger picture. You only focus on the bad. I would say I tend to do this- not all the time, but occasionally. My sense of humor thankfully refuses to stray too far from me during these times, and making jokes about it helps. But being able to think about the good is, at certain intervals, difficult. So today, when I should have been reviewing other teacher’s lesson/unit plans, I thought about it good and hard. And here is what I’ve come up with:

Top 5 Things I Love About This Place…

1.  Teaching. Hands down, number one. I love, love, love, spending my days questioning, guiding, disciplining, pushing (mentally, not physically), laughing with and watching students as they develop their beliefs and values, and begin to really define themselves. I love reading their words and helping them expand their minds through reading and stories and to express themselves more effectively in English. It makes my heart feel so full and I feel good about myself and what I’m doing.
2.  Living In Paradise. Pure Paradise. I love looking out the window of my classroom and seeing green green fields and palm trees swaying and pink and yellow and blue buildings stained gray in places from the mildew and humidity. And I’m never cold (except when I am in a building and the air-con is on full blast.) And escaping to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world on the weekends is so wonderful. Railay Beach and Koh Phangan and Khanom- my three favorites. Breathtakingly beautiful beaches with stunning waters and powdery sand. (There are things I don’t like- I’m so over the bugs. But the climate makes it worth it… most of the time.)
3. How I’ve Come To Appreciate Things I Previously Took For Granted . Like cheese and hot water. Every tie to my life at home suddenly seems so precious- a top sheet on my bed (they don’t exist here in S. Thailand, these are strictly imports), a glass of wine from an actual bottle (so what if it’s Carlo Rossi?), not having bugs in my house/shoe/desk drawer, a skype date, an email in my inbox, a BOOK!, a package, postcard, or letter, or an organized dinner party with a few close friends here.
4. The People I’ve Met. Not all of them, let’s be honest. But, I have met wonderful people who have directly and indirectly challenged me to think about things that I would have never considered- these people get me outside the box, and I am grateful for that. Everyone here- the foreign teachers, my students, and those I have met while traveling- they’ve exposed me to so many new things. And, I have made friends and developed relationships with people here that have and will continue to extend beyond this experience. In addition, these people have shown me, through example, how to embrace exploring and living.



Som Tam 

5. Som Tam. This stuff is SO good. At least three times a week. The spicier, the better. I never ate it in the States, and I hope they have it somewhere so that when I go back, I can keep eating it.  This is kind of the way I feel about cottage cheese at home. I haven’t found it here yet, but somewhere’s bound to have it, right? I love that stuff, too.
6. Am I allowed to have a 6th? Because I have one. I know we are really into the top 5’s, but another thing is: I Love How This Place Has Broadened My Horizons. I swore I wouldn’t get a motorbike. Then, I got one. It’s still not an activity I love- I prefer walking. But I’m doing it. I all of a sudden ENJOY bananas. I think they taste different here, which might account for this change in preference of this food. I’ve been exposed to teaching internationally, something I never really considered as a reality. Not only that, I’ve been able to explore facets of education I might not have been able to really have a chance to be involved in in California. At least not right away. I’ve jumped off cliffs (well, one cliff) and tried so many new things and been open to so much and been able to read so much and so much more. I’m still me, but I have developed and expanded my schemas.

This weekend, we went to one of my most favorite places- Khanom. After a crazy and frustrating week, it felt good to get away. We splurged a bit and got a really nice room at Aava, relaxed and sunbathed, and waited until it was dark enough and then took a night swim. This was extra special, because I have been waiting 8 months to see the phosphorescence that everyone has been telling me about in the ocean- where the sea looks like it’s flecked with glitter and every time you move, the a glimmering trail follows. On Saturday night, with the moon half-full and pretty low tide, I finally saw it. We waded out into the calm sea up to our waists, then pushed ourselves fully into the water. With my arms in front of me, I pushed out to the sides and watched with awe and wonder as the ocean began to glisten from the movement. It was just amazing. I have never seen anything like it. We were glowing! Our group played in the water for about an hour, then some of the guys built a bonfire and we all stood around it, drying ourselves and warming up and chatting. I woke up this morning, went to breakfast in the open-air restaurant, lounged by the pool and took a little walk along the beach. AND I saw pink dolphins for the second time! It was perfect. #2, #4, and #6. I got to do 3 of the things I love this weekend, and I am so grateful.

All of a sudden, the visa/work permit fiasco feels (almost) worth it.

My Little Escape- Khanom

*** I would like readers to note that while writing this, I paused to tighten my hairband and a bug fell out of my hair. REALLY? Thailand- you give me so much to be happy about and then you put bugs in my hair. Ugh. Enough with the bugs!!!

No Joke.

Things I did today until 1:30pm:

1. Went down to the office to check on the status of my work permit. My contract was on its way to the mayor to be signed. Apparently he chose not to sign it last night.
2. Corrected papers, quizzes, and got my gradebook completely up-to-date.
3. Taught complements, reviewed quizzes, went over plot development, continued reading "All-American Slurp" to my grade 8's.
4. Went downstairs and checked on the status of my work permit. Nothing. My contract was still with the mayor.
5. Conducted an interview and showed the prospective teacher around our beautiful campus. This took about an hour and a half.
6. Went downstairs for her to be interviewed by the Director and Thai Principal. Also, checked on my contract/work permit. Still, nothing.

Just so everyone is clear, my visa expires/expired today, August 17th, 2011. All government offices close at 3:30 at the latest. At this point, it is 1:30. Clearly, I begin to get a little more than upset- it's visible in my face, although I am trying to keep a calm, cool and collected composure.

The principal checks on my paperwork that should have been prepared to take to the employment office. It is non-existent. However, paperwork for me to go to Penang for a visa run is all ready. I cannot go on a visa run. I cannot get another non-immigrant B visa. Nor do I care to spend my own money on something I wouldn't have had to do if the school had been more prepared and listened to me when I began asking for this over two months ago.

So, at 1:30pm, with only 2 hours left to process everything, my contract is still sitting on the mayor's desk at city hall. My paperwork for my work permit hasn't even begun to be compiled.

THEN, they tell me they need me to go to the hospital to get medical clearance to work. Again. Because it expired in March. 

So, naturally, my voice elevates a little bit (NOT yelling, just expressing extreme concern) and I begin to really hammer into them that literally, I need to leave the school forever if this doesn't happen in two hours.
All of a sudden, people begin rushing. The Thai administrators rush to the mayor's office. The administrative staff begins rushing around the school, papers flying everywhere, getting my documents together. And I rush to the hospital.

Things I learned today:

1. I don't have syphilis. Why this is important to the Thai Ministry of Education over, say, tuberculosis, I will never understand. But this was the "medical clearance" I had to get. Yay, no syphilis!! 250 baht well-spent.
2. The mayor can make anyone do anything anytime. You just have to get him to say it, and to sign your contract, which, apparently, is the hardest part.
3. Whenever anyone tells you they cannot do something until tomorrow, or that something is going to take an hour, they can really get it done in about five minutes. They just need to be pushed (not physically, but by, say, a time constraint and the government). And sometimes, you need to cry. It makes them feel bad and they don't want to see it, so they want to get you out of their workspace as soon as possible.

Now, I have my work permit. It only took the entire administrative team to stop everything they were doing today and focus only on me. Literally, the whole school was put on hold. It was ridiculous.

Tomorrow, I have to pay for my visa at immigration. Plus the fine for being late by one day.
And you know the clincher? I still am not 100% guaranteed that I am okay. It all lies in the hands of the immigration officer tomorrow. Who, hopefully, will have the heavy hand of the mayor resting squarely on his back.

Sometimes, at the end of a long day, a glass of wine is the best thing in the world. Someone, get this girl a glass of wine.

Contracts and Visas- Broken Record?

Today, I had to tell my students that tomorrow might be my last day of school. It wasn’t easy. I passed out the second half of their quiz (it had to be split in two because the copy machine broke and no one knew when it would be fixed… glorious Thailand), wrote a quick email, walked around to observe and assist, took one student’s test because I caught her cheating (first time I have EVER had to do that in my whole, still green teaching career), collected the quizzes after twenty minutes, and then before redistributing them to be corrected, I broke the news.

I told it like it was, explaining contracts (new vocabulary word!) and visas (old vocabulary word- they know about all my runs for the border!) and how the school made a big big mistake and we don’t know if they can fix it. And that maybe everything will be okay, but maybe I will have to go to Malaysia, get my tourist visa, and then only work for the rest of the month, and then go back to the United States. I tried to tell them in…. as comfortable a way as possible… if that makes any sense. Trying not to reveal any emotion because I didn’t want my kids to think something was sorely wrong with their school or with me. Just explain the situation, and tell them we are trying to solve it, but that I might have to go somewhere and not be there anymore.

The truth is right now I am overflowing with emotion about this. The truth is there is something sorely wrong with their school. Today I was bullied into signing a contract I didn’t agree with because my employers promised me something and then kept pushing it back and back and back until I had one day left before my visa expired (and my contract had already been expired for 16 days.) They waited until the last possible hour (no joke- they waited until 2pm, and all the government offices I needed to go to closed at 3) to tell me that they changed their mind about what to pay me, but that I needed to sign because they had to get my paperwork down to immigration and the education office to process as soon as possible.

What I don’t think they were expecting was for me to tell them that I would have to quit. “I am sorry,” I said, “But what’s happening here is not right. It makes me so sad, but, I think, I have to quit.” The director looked down at his hands and all of a sudden became engrossed with something inside the drawer he had just opened. The Thai principal said, “Allison, is there any way you can stay? Because I think next year it will be better. I talked to the students yesterday. Pae, Jaja, for example. They say how much they love you and you make them learn. They say you make this school very good for them. Please, could you reconsider.”

It was never about the money for me. It was about the experience. I mean that, and I am being truthful- no one comes to Thailand expecting to make bank and take it home with them to the U.S. or England or Australia (Or even Canada... only teasing, Canadian readers.) The fight I have been fighting, it's about the principle (and the principal!- see? Even when I'm down, I'm not without a sense of humor.) In February, our school lost its principal. We didn’t get a new one until July 31. In the interim, I filled the position, splitting duties with the Thai principal, all the while teaching classes too. I had absolutely no idea what I was walking into, but I did it. And I tried to make the best out of it that I possibly could- it was a learning experience for me, it was a challenge. Bottom line: I had needs that needed to be met, and I hoped my employer would work to meet them in the same way I busted my behind to help them as much as I possibly could. I could go into it a little bit more, maybe to clarify things a bit, but frankly, I am exhausted and my spirit is a bit wilted at the moment.

I wish I could say my experience here was unique or special, but I know it’s not. It’s not even just Thailand. It’s being an educator right now. It’s taking chances with anything. You put your heart and soul into something that you love, and have expectations. Budget cuts, new governments, new policies, whatever. And the worst part is those who suffer the most are the kids.

So, I went upstairs to the gym and played dodgeball with the seventh graders and Teacher Meaghan, phoned a lifeline and talked it out. This school is really fragile right now, and I know what will happen if I leave right now. I just can’t do it. I don’t want to leave the school this way and I don’t want to give up on something I believe in- It’s not in me, it’s not who I am. I signed my contract. And now, I await the apparent expedited visa/work permit processing that will take place tomorrow. The vice-mayor is going to take care of all of it for me, he says. I hope I made the right choice.

All By Myself

It’s not that I have never lived alone before, because I have. But the last time I did it, it was different. I spent a year in a gorgeous two-bedroom, two-bath house out in the wine country in northern California. How is it different from where I am now, aside from the location? I had hot water, for one. And cable TV and a huge beautiful kitchen for another. And a little private driving range/putting green in my backyard built for the avid golfer I was renting from. Pretty nice, right? It was cozy and had everything I could ask for. I loved it in many ways, but what I did not love was living alone. I counted down the days until my boyfriend at the time or my friends would come to stay with me, and often fell asleep with the phone to my ear on nights when I was alone. I was actually pretty afraid of living all the way out where I was, even with an alarm system and huge fence and gate surrounding the property. There were a couple nights where I just couldn’t take it and fled to my parents’ at 3am, just so I could get some shuteye. I didn’t have any reason to be as scared as I was. But I would terrorize myself with imaginary scenarios of someone breaking in, or something terrible happening and Iwould scream and no one would hear me. (Completely unrealistic, by the way.) I think at that point, I just wasn’t ready to live alone.

Here though, I embrace my solitary habitation. When I get off work, or come back from a dinner date, I climb the four flights of stairs to my itty bitty studio apartment in the middle of the city, unlock the door, and it’s like I’ve entered my little haven. I never get scared about someone breaking in, although it’s definitely more probable here than back home. I have my little kettle and my refrigerator, which is about the extent of my kitchen, and I have people over for tea. All my books- reference, travel, novels- line the shelf above my little closet that is built into the wall. I’ve actually built up quite a collection. (The other day, I listed all the books I have read since being here, and I’m rather proud- about 14 thus far! It’s amazing what being out of school does for one’s reading appetite!I have about 7 waiting to be read, so that’s a fair amount!) On Sundays, we now have a ritual where we cozy up on my bed (as it’s the only place to sit aside from the floor and one little red stool that sits in front of my vanity and doubles as a coffee table) after brunch and watch bootleg Trueblood episodes from the current season. It’s my little space, and I let people in when I want, and it’s all mine when I need it to be.

When I first moved here and was looking for places, I knew I wanted to live by myself. Before moving here, living alone would have seemed like some kind of punishment- I’m a people person. I like waking up and seeing someone else there. But I felt like for where I am and what I am doing, it’s what I need and deserve. And I still stand by this choice, and wouldn’t have my time here in Thailand any other way. This is my ME time. And I am selfish and I love it. 

Back from China. A New Academic Year. A New but Similar Outlook.

Today, reading my students’ quick writes inspired me (finally) to update my blog. I’ve been struggling a little bit with writing it- knowing that I needed to, but not really in the mood. But today, after smiling, frowning, nodding, and even laughing out loud a little bit as I sat at my desk in my classroom (yes, you read that correctly- I finally have my very own classroom!) reading their thoughts about who they are or who they think they are or who they want (or don’t want) to tell me they are, I feel ambitious and ready to share again.

My mood lately, especially since returning from Indonesia and China, has been less than stellar. My aunt Lisa told me that, just so I knew, I would probably hate the first few months abroad. But after the bouts of homesickness died off and I got acclimated, I would obviously love it. Oddly, my experience has been the opposite. The first six months were so jam-packed with new people, places, jobs, just everything, that I felt like there was no way I was even close to being ready to come home. There was too much happening for me to even have time to think about it. And then I traveled for a month with my friends from home, and then I returned to Thailand and they went back to the States. And I began to feel like I was so far removed from everything I cared about.  Thus, this is the plight I face- what I have come to realize about living and working abroad. I am doing something I love, but I am so far away from (almost) everything and everyone I know and love.

Still, every now and again, I catch myself marveling at the fact that I am here. That this is my life. Sometime during summer school, after classes one day, I was working late as usual. I got up to walk around a bit, get my blood flowing and I found myself in front of the giant windows in the teacher’s lounge, gazing out over the lush green fields, the city in the background, palms swaying gently. It was just one of those moments- I was standing, with my arms crossed in front of me, a mug of tea in one hand, looking out of my office window and thinking about my plans for the next day, running through my to-do list of teacher meetings, parent conferences, lesson planning, etc. Completely normal, uninteresting, organizational, average parts of being a teacher. The only difference is I’m doing it… in Thailand.

China, by the way, was really a great trip. It was so much fun spending time with the students and other teachers, seeing the sights, and of course, what Nakhon International City School trip would be complete without the all-important souvenir shopping we did at least once (sometimes twice) each day and the meals every 15 minutes? China surprised me in many ways. I never thought I would travel there, as it was never high on my list of places to go, but now I am thinking of ways to get back there. It was beautiful- all parts. The city of Shanghai is so modern, in an almost futuristic way, and for being so incredibly huge, it’s also incredibly clean and well-maintained. The ancient cities and temples and ruins we visited were also extremely well-kept, and the countryside was beautiful. I am itching to get to the Great Wall and go to Beijing.

Students on the boat ride!

Chinese Acrobats in Shanghai

Chinese Gardens

Chinese Gardens

The Boys

Shanghai at night!

The view from The Pearl Tower

My favorite shop- Grandmother's Tea

Meanwhile, the new-school year has officially commenced. All of the rumors and talk of our school have subsided, for the time-being, at least, and… the new principal has finally started. Not without a lot of hassle and catastrophe, of course, but he’s here, nonetheless, and already I feel the positive effects on my workload. And I’m even more excited to hopefully be a major part of NICS becoming an established, reputable institution. It’s like my faith has been restored a little bit, which is really good. And I have my own classroom, and that’s good. And I’m teaching, and I love it. And today, I had more than one student tell me, without the promise of extra credit, that I have made them love English, and they’ve learned a lot from me, and they want to be like me when they grow up. Basically, they continue to melt my heart. And they reminded me for the millionth time why I love doing what I do. And that is excellent

I love these kids!