Orangutans are AMAZING!

June 11, 2011

Tanjung Puting National Park is unbelievable. We left the first site after watching an orangutan feeding where, on our way to the feeding area, an orangutan came up to the raised boardwalk that went above the swamp (so we could avoid crocodiles) and stole Meaghan's water bottle. Then, at the actual feeding location, we watched two orangutans stuff bananas in their mouths. These distant yet remarkably close relatives of ours are so amazing that we left thinking if these were the only orangutans we saw on our trip, if this was the only event on our trip, it was all more than worth it. But from there, it only got so much better. Leaving now, headed back to Kumai and recounting everything...

• We slept beneath mosquito nets on the deck of our boat, settled at the river's edge, trees overhanging, with proboscis monkeys nestled into the branches. they would growl and/or bark and shake the trees violently every time we laughed too loud r accidentally banged or knocked the platform.
• During long boat rides upriver to the next site, or in the evenings after our day in the jungle, we played hearts and crazy 8's (the only game the captain who spoke no English and our guide who spoke limited English all knew), all whilst sipping on bootleg rice wine and susu machan (susu= milk, machan=tiger).
• Hiking through the last of the primary rainforest on Borneo, we drank water that magically came from the branch of a tree, ate wild and tart mangosteens, balanced precariously on planks laid down across the leech-filled swamp and still managed to get leeches on ourselves (my biggest freak-out moment), and walked among beautiful butterflies of every shape and color.
• We got to watch macaques playing in the trees and dive into the water next to our boat. It was fun to watch them live amongst the other monkey species in the forest (although they seemed to steer clear of the apes).

All that would have been enough. But then there's the experience with the oranguatans....

• We met orangutan families, watched as the mothers balanced their babies, and as their babies held on to their sides or underbellies, while they moved from tree to tree, going from the very top of the rainforest to the very bottom with ease. The trees are peppered with orangutan nests- they make new ones daily, as they move from place to place.
• It was a progression- first we observed from afar, and then somehow we became more and more comfortable with each other, so that by the end they were digging through our pockets and grabbing hold of our hands. Pan, a particularly vivacious, ostentatious, ape walked side-by-side with us to his feeding, making sure we were coming with him by grabbing our hands and pulling us along. He chose to walk upright, on two legs, holding onto us for support, almost the entire walk. We were blown away. Then, he got a little bit tired, I suppose, because after a while, he turned in front of me, stopped, and wrapped his arms around me then put his feet on my forearms, absolutely, 100% in an effort to try to get me to carry him. As much as I wanted to, carrying him was not an option- he was HUGE!
• On our last day, we finally saw a gibbon. He was at the Leakey Camp, in the trees and playing with a young orangutan right above our heads- we could touch his tail, he was that close. We also got to watch wild pigs and orangutan interacting. We also saw the rare and few purely wild orangutans, sitting in the trees and looking on at us as we began to head back downriver. It was a perfect final goodbye.

I just don't think much else can compare with this. Looking into their eyes, seeing their expressions- you feel their happiness and their sadness, you see it in their posture and their eyes. They are just so similar to us, so beautful, so AMAZING. Sally is already dead-set on coming back next year as a vounteer with the orangutan rehab project that all of these orangutans are a part of. And in the back of my mind, every time I was blown away by yet something else in this crazy place, I thought about how thankful and lucky I am to get to see all of this... before it is gone. Especially before the orangutans are gone. Logging and other deforestation is still taking place all the time in the forest, and the population of the orangutan continues to decline.
Let's be honest- while the experience was utterly fantastic, I should not be having an orangutan climbing on me and trying to get me to carry him to his banana feeding.These are orangutans that have been displaced and are being rehabilitated, but they are still completely dependent on humans. There's a very fine line... and I go on and on about this in my journal, but in addition to the experience, what I am taking away from this adventure is this: 

Now that I have had this opportunity to learn about orangutans, their habitat, and the limitations this species faces, what am I going to do to help? You cannot come here and leave unaffected. There is a certain responsibility I feel. I know that I can start by sharing the experience and by sharing resources to get more information.

• Orangutan Foundation International (the person I talked to the most about the orangutans, their life, and the project was from this organization): www.orangutan.org
• Friends of the National Parks Foundation: www.fnpf.org
• Borneo Orangutan Survival Foundation: www.orangutan.or.id

I will NOT forget my trip to Borneo.... indescribable. Hence, why I overuse the word amazing. I'm simply at a loss.


June 22, 2011

I am currently in Ubud, Bali. Bali is absolutely the kind of place that steals hour heart and soul. It is beautiful, breathtakingly so. I am in love with Bali! Since leaving Borneo, we have traveled to the Gili Islands.
On Gili T. I started feeling very strange- disoriented and dizzy, and then before I knew it, my temperature skyrocketed. I was freezing cold yet it was sunny and hot. Of course, I took no malaria medication in the malaria-infested rural jungles of Borneo. So I went to the best clinic on the island... let's just say it was the best of the worst. He didn't even take my temperature and told me Gili doesn't have malaria, so it couldn't be malaria. "Right, I know that, but two days ago I was in Borneo..." "Oh, yes, that has malaria." I couldn't get a boat out to the nearest hospital in Lombok that night, so I had to stay on the island. According to CDC and LP and my first-aid book and everything else I was scaring myself with, any signs of sickness should be treated as malaria until proven otherwise. I mentally counted all the mosquito bites I received while in borneo (too many too count) and how the deet repellent didn't work- I put it on and wore long leeves and pants and was still bit to oblivion. My fever wouldn't break, even with medication, and I was so completely delirious and disoriented and achy, vomiting, horrible cramping, and I was scared. In the morning, Allan went with me to the hospital, where they did blood tests. Not malaria! Not Dengue! But, some kind of horrible virus. I had to stay for two days in Lombok to make sure that I did not have malaria/dengue and to get more bloodwork done, because my lymphocytes (spell check?) were very low and so was my blood pressure. The two diseases could have been hiding still. But, on the third day, my fever finally broke and I started feeling better. the doctor looked at my bloodwork and gave me the okay to see the Komodo dragons, armed with malaria meds, and although mystomach was still uneasy, I left on the cruise! In Lombok, we embarked on another live-aboard cruise to travel to Komodo and Flores to see the majestic dragons. We didn't see them until the last day of our horrid, horrid live-aboard experience. They were the saving grace of that trip. If we had it to do again, we would have flown to flores, stayed for a few days there, and taken day-trips to Komodo and Rinca for diving and hiking to see the dragons. Please, if you are considering this "cruise", don't do it. It is recommended by Lonely Planet, but is 100% should not be. We ended it as soon as we could reach civilization on Flores, were refunded our money (at least 3 other people from our boat did this as well- maybe 6 others making 11 total out of 30 who were so incredibly displeased), and flew to Bali the next day. 
Bali is a godsend. I am still working this dumb virus out of my body- still very sensitive stomach- but I am getting better. Dear Pat in Korea, thank you for talking to the Dr.s at your base for me while I was stuck on Gili. You are a good, good friend. And I owe you. Again.
Off to the monkey forest, then a Balinese massage and a Dr. Fish pedicure... :)

Introduction to my SEA summer holiday...

I ended school on June 1, and at noon on June 2, I left Nakhon for the remainder of the month, embarking on a little trek around SE Asia. My plan was to keep a journal and update my blog whenever I got to the internet, thus keeping my friends and family informed that not only am I still alive, but that I am thriving on this experience. However, with sparkling waters, warm weather, and one-in-a-lifetime opportunities for adventure beckoning me every time I turn toward the internet cafe, I have found it quite difficult to do this.
I was also planning to upload photos, but forgot the cable for my camera... so you will have to use your imagination until I figure something out... hopefully photos will be coming shortly!
Our first stop was in Kuala Lumpur for one night, then to Singapore for three. It was a great start to a trip that clearly would only get better. On June 7th, we departed Singapore and headed to Indonesia, where the bulk of our journey will be taking place. After landing in Jakarta and gathering our wits, we planned our next move- BORNEO!

June 8th, 2011
Location: En Route from Benjarmasin to Pangkalan Bun, Kalimantan, Indonesia (Borneo)

Watching the sun set from the bus this evening was beautiful. I woke from a little afternoon nap to a golden sky with wisps of white curling up, like a reverse wave. As the sun sank lower and lower, the water below the stilted houses lining the road blackened and was so still it looked thick and glossy, so that it resembled dark pools of oil. As we passed villages and homes along the roadside, women and children began to gather on the front stoops, children far outnumbering the adults present. They darted from house to house while the women, presumably their mothers and maybe aunts sat, perched on the steps, either leaning forward with elbows resting on their knees and hands clasped in front of them or leaning back against the banisters or doorways, legs stretched out and ankles crossed, taking in this moment of relaxation at the end of the day.
Most of the homes are ramshackle, made from 2x2 pieces of wood, sometimes painted bright turquoise or yellow, sometimes unpainted with the wood bleached out by the sun, turned a colorless gray. Almost all have tin roofs and sit on stilts, with little boardwalks made from the street to the doorstep in order to get past the water. Rice paddies and thick jungle provide the backdrop for these homes. What a contrast to anything and everything I am familiar with. What do these women do all day, out in the middle of nowhere, with all these children? Suddenly, I find myself wanting to spend a day in their life here, to know what they do and how they do it, to see where our lives contrast with one another, and where they are similar.
There are two different yet related aspects of this traveling experience. One is the land- the flora and the fauna, the landscape, topography, the sky and the earth- which is overhwhelming and beautiful on its own. Then, there are the people- their culture, language, customs, the food, etc.- equally overwhelming and beautiful. Then there is the observation of the way the land and the people interact- how each is profoundly affected by the other. The geography of a place impacts the culture of the people, and the way the people live on the land impacts the environment.
We have already observed areas of forest cleared away, seen piles of trash waiting to be burned along roadsides and in front of houses. With all these houses over the water, there is one guess as to where human waste goes. And few houses have separate water supply tanks for drinking. And we have already seen many children being bathed in the water in front of the houses. Human waste has a very visible impact, even here. So I suppose that what I am trying to say is that from my vantage point thus far, there is this overwhelming beauty of land and people here on Borneo, but I cannot deny the level of poverty of the people, nor the clearly visible impact humans have on the environment, even when living a more simplistic lifestyle, sans cars and urban consumerism and in some cases even electricity. This is visible in Thailand as well, but watching from a window as I pass by it is somehow making it more apparent. Being a part of it makes you realize this with clarity, and yet another overwhelming aspect of travel arises. When I go to the islands, its easy to get lost in the tourism and the higher standard of living that the tourists demand. But at the end of the day, the Thais go home to the same thrid world standards many of them are used to. It's easy to look the other way, to not aknowledge the pile of trash burning out behind the hotel, smoke blowing straight into workers' homes. But it's easy to see if you get past your own good time. And then you have to ask yourself- what can you do about it? How can I enjoy this paradise that I am in to the fullest, yet not promote the environmental devastation that is ocurring simultaneously?

June 9, 2011
Location: Kumai, Borneo

We are on our live-aboard, headed upriver to Tanjung Puting National Park. Even as I sit here aboard this slow-moving klotok, staring out at the muddy river, low palms and mangroves lining the edges, I cannot seem to grasp that I am really here.
Our arrival at 4am left us groggy and not in the best of moods, after a 16 hour bus ride filled with jostles and bumps that were extremely hard to sleep through. Harry, the coordinator for our trip, picked us up from the station, and he took us to the port, where we boarded our boat, slept for a few hours, and then embarked on our cruise to see the orangutans.
It's surreal here. This journey upriver reminds me of making our way through the mangroves off the coast of Belize- same same, but different. Our slow-moving boat's motor is the only motor. The water is placid except for our miniscule wake and sights of civilization are nil. The insects are so loud that you can hear their chirping and buzzing over the noise of the boat. While sights of civilization are non-existent, signs of it are not. Foamy boat trails and some iridescent film along the top of the thick, soupy looking brown water are reminders that we are not the first and nor will we be the last to use this pathway to the preserved jungle rain forest. Certain areas of the shore have been plucked bare of vegetation for various reason- perhaps for the illegal loggers to gain access to the land or to make way for palm leaf and oil harvesting.
Looking through LP this morning, it comments on much of what I was wondering about last night with regards to depletion of natural resources and pollution. Our guide, Azi, has also been able to fill us in on some of the issues that seem to be staring this beautiful land in the face only to receive a casual, quick, sideways glance in return.
LP says, "environmental awareness is nascent at best"- rampant depletion of natural resources, mainly the rain forest itself and ill-managed waste removal services contaminating virtually all the water on this island, result in a paradise soon-to-be lost, which is terrifying and all too apparent. When you look at it from the perspective of a single, foreign, displaced person observing it all, this bewildered anxiety creeps in. Where do you start? How do you fix it? How did it get to be that the only two itty bitty places on earth orangutans continue to exist in the wild (but are still closely monitored and supported by humans) are here in Indonesia?
Finally, we are at park headquarters, where we will stop for lunch. It is a small compound of green buildings, along the shore, and we pull up and tie our boat to the dock. Chickens follow a lone rooster, clucking after him and pecking at the ground beneath the gargantuan sign that maps out the park. Here we are.
Tanjung Puting National Park is supposed to be the best place in the world to see orangutans. There are three different camps here who study these primates, luring them in by providing them with a plentiful supply of bananas at scheduled feeding times. This provides researchers and scientists with a way to monitor the progress or lack thereof of rehabilitated orangutans, see how families are coming along, make sure everyone is still around, etc. But in this preserve, orangutans aren't the only sight. there are also gibbons, macacques, sun bears, proboscus monkeys, crocodiles, and so many different birds and butterflies, not to mention primary rainforest filled with all kinds of strange and exotic flora. Already there have been some amazing butterflies fluttering in and around our boat. I cannot wait to get off and explore!!

Quick Update....

About to head into the jungles of Borneo for 3-4 days... hopefully will be able to update when I get back- so much to write about!!

The NICS Malaysian Experience

Cameron Highlands, Malaysia

On Thursday, our 7^th grade school trip to Malaysia commenced. Our departure time was set for 4am. Between everything I had to do- finish grading the final exams for both IT and Language Arts, input final grades, pack, get my visa in order (re-entry stamp!!), plus trying to get as much finished as possible with finalizing the school schedule, contracts, calendar, etc. since I will be gone for the entire month of June- I figured I would just stay up all night, then leave my apartment at 3:30am. By 3:00am, I was packed, ready to go, my apartment was clean and ready, so I settled onto my bed to just “rest”. Just in case I fell asleep, I set my alarm on my iPod and my phone for 3:40. Just so we’re all clear, I fell asleep.  Woops.

Here’s an hour by hour breakdown of our itinerary, because I know that's exactly what you all want:

Thursday

4:00am- board the tour bus to Hat Yai (to be truthful, I boarded at about 4:05)

4:07am- karaoke music on (why?!)

At the border, NICS teachers waiting to guide our students
back to the big, yellow and green tour bus.

4:10am- karaoke music off (thank goodness!), depart NICS

7:30am- arrive in Hat Yai, buffet breakfast at Lee Gardens Plaza Hotel

8:30am- board a new bus (this would be where I forgot to pick up my beloved Havianas from bus #1 and lost them forever) to Penang

9:30am- begin border crossing process

10:30am- finish border crossing process: We have officially entered Malaysia

12:00pm- Thai food for lunch… in Malaysia. (This is where my favorite pair of sunglasses fell off my person and into the squatty potty. Sad, sad event.)

2:00pm- arrive in Penang

2:30pm- Kek Lok Si Temple on Penang Hill. (This is the point at which I realized this was not going to be like field trips at home and forced myself to let go of any rigid expectations. It was not easy.)

Briefly about Kek Lok Si: It is said to be the largest temple in SE Asia. Construction began in 1893 and it is still in the making. Situated on Penang Hill, it has a beautiful view as well as beautiful architecture. The buildings and style are an interesting mix of Thai, Chinese, and Burmese influence, bringing together different facets of Buddhism. This was my second visit to the temple.

My group of students at Penang Hill

4:00pm- Wat Chaiyamangalaram Temple (This is where Teacher Hannah and I received the worst fortunes ever.)

Briefly about Wat Chaiya: Also a blend of Chinese, Thai, and Burmese architectural design, this temple is most famous for the reclining Buddha in the main building (said to be the 3^rd largest reclining Buddha in the world). Reclining Buddha represents Buddha at his death, important because it marks Buddha’s ascent to enlightenment, or Nirvana.

Reclining Buddha and NICS Thai Teachers

The SS Libra

5:00-7:00pm- wander around via bus, arrive at port, board the cruise ship, creatively named Super Star Libra. (This is when I finally embraced the fact that this was unlike any US school field trip and began having a good time.)

Teacher Matt playing the ukulele while we wait to board.
Meanwhile, Sua turns his suitcase into a guillotine.

7:30pm- gorge ourselves at the buffet on board

8:30pm- say goodnight to the kids, commence teacher bonding time. (This included taking in some on board entertainment, including “The Mentalist," and checking out the casino and the discotheque.)

The Mentalist and NICS Teachers
up on stage

9:00pm- cruise ship actually leaves the port. Many of us have traveled all over the world, but surprisingly enough, this is all our first cruise ANYWHERE, so we are all pretty excited to watch the boat leave port.

Friday

He gets motion sickness,
FYI.

7:00pm- breakfast buffet

8:00pm- ship docks back in Penang (long cruise, I know)

9:00pm- disembark, board the bus, and headed for the Cameron Highlands

9:30pm- stop at The Chocolate Boutique (still in Penang). (It was hugely overpriced- the link explains this quite well. The children bought mounds of it. Mounds.)

12:00pm- another Thai lunch… in Malaysia

1:00pm- children begin vomiting on the windy road. (At this point, I introduced students to the pink plastic bag in their front seat pockets. One used it… one didn’t. Unfortunate.)
1:30pm- Cameron Highlands Green View Garden and Avant Chocolate Factory (Yes, more chocolate, and more food. Students get milkshakes, eat tons of strawberries, onion rings, you name it. And this is where the teachers begin dreading going back on the bus because full bellies plus windy roads cannot be a good combo.)

Briefly about Cameron Highlands: Breathtakingly beautiful mountainous countryside in Northern Malaysia. Situated on a plateau and originally settled by the British, it is now a resort destination famous for its tea, strawberries, and lush jungle.

2:30pm- back on the bus

3:00pm- Bharat Tea Plantation…It's beautiful! (No one has vomited, thank goodness. Students run through the tea plants, buy strawberry earmuffs, and bags and bags of tea and coffee.)

Students running  and playing at the tea plantation

4:00pm- back on the bus

4:30pm- Cactus Valley...wander through the gardens and- you guessed it- cacti! I love cactus plants, so this was quite enjoyable. (Oh, and then we ate more food... strawberries, strawberries, and waffles with ice cream and strawberries)

5:30pm- back on the bus

Colorful Cacti

5:45pm- Steamboat dinner… more food! So not hungry! Walked around the small town area until it was time to check in to our hotel.

8:00pm- all settled into The Heritage Hotel, more teacher bonding time! Human pyramids, blindfolded taste-testing, and karaoke.

Saturday

7:00am- breakfast buffet at the hotel

8:00am- board the bus and depart Cameron Highlands, back down the 236 winding curves

On The Road Again...

8:30am- stop at a farmers’ marketplace to buy more souvenirs. (This is where they all bought toy guns and laser pointers… they also bought us teachers some sweet corn and strawberries, which made up for the laser pointers and toy guns.)

9:30am- begin descending on the windy road again- drive until lunch, which is a pretty long stretch, considering we are now used to stopping and eating about every hour. So don't worry, they provided us with snacks.

12:30pm- lunch at the same Thai restaurant… in Malaysia.

1:30pm- board the bus, drove for another hour, do the border crossing routine (where 2 teachers encountered visa issues- not me, though), and drive for another two hours.

4:30-5:30pm- sit around at a rest stop to change busses (to board the same bus I lost my beloved shoes on)

5:30- new bus, continue the journey

7:30- stop somewhere near Phattalung to pick up boxed dinners to eat on the bus. Basil chicken, fried egg and rice. Yum!

9:30- home. Tired, exhausted…. Get on my bike… flat tire. Bummer. Ride my motorbike slowly to the repair place right next to our school- it wasn’t open, but a man came out, I showed him my flat, and he pulled my bike into the garage, told me to come back at 9am, and then he and his wife insisted on giving me a ride home. He dropped me off at my door and then asked if I needed a ride again at 9am. I thanked him and shook my head no- I could walk. I LOVE the kind, friendly people of Nakhon.

It was a short trip, but it was really fun. The teachers, old and new, got to know each other better, and we all got to know the students a little more as well. The  incoming 7^th graders are from all over SE Thailand, so this was an opportunity for them to really get to know each other too. The trip was disorganized and chaotic at times, but once I let go and just went with the Thai flow, it got really really fun. We laughed so much, practiced English with the students, and got to know the Thai teaching staff better. It left all of us teachers exhausted but so incredibly excited for the 8^th grade China trip we will be taking in July. Between now and then, I will be finishing up at school, and then we leave for Indonesia on June 1^st for our summer holiday. We will be there for a month, meeting up with friends from home and exploring the many islands. I. Can’t. Wait. 

Best Photo! Taken by Teacher Matt at the bottom of Penang Hill. I LOVE these kids!! PS- I am the peace sign in the very back left... :)

Visa Shmisha

I am on yet another visa run to Penang, Malaysia. There are many things that confuse me in this world but none so much at this particular point in time as how a Thai visa works. A month after my arrival, when my 30-day tourist visa was set to expire, I came down to Malaysia and applied for my non-Immigrant B, which would give me three months and make it legal for me to work in Thailand. It would also give me /the school/the ministry enough time to process my documents and get me my papers to apply for a work permit. This 3 month working visa was set to expire the first week in May, but I sped up the process when I went to Tioman Island on a whim- I must be honest and admit I have done little research or questioning about my visa, and I failed to get a re-entry stamp (and pay 1,000 baht?) on my way out of the country. So when I came back in, the customs official stamped a nice, big “USED” across my non-immigrant B visa in my passport, negating my status. Woops. So I became a tourist again, but since I flew into the country again, I had 30 days instead of only 15 to “tour” Thailand. The timing just never seemed right for me to go, because it would mean missing school. There were many days that we had off, but we had them off because they were holidays- holidays the Thai embassy down in Malaysia also observed, and therefore would be closed for.

Long story that I unfortunately must make longer is that I finally came down here two days after my tourist visa expired. My hope was that I could leave on Tuesday afternoon, arrive in Penang late that night, and then start the visa process Wednesday morning first thing, as it takes two working days. This would put me and my visa back on a bus to Nakhon late Thursday afternoon. I would get to Nakhon late Thursday night/early Friday morning, and then have only missed two days of school and would have been able to review for finals on Friday with my students.

 But, as with all things Thai, you can’t expect time to be on your side. My driver was new, and he got lost. Twice. So I got to Hat Yai to change busses forty-five minutes too late, and they wouldn’t take any more people across the border. So I had to stay the night in Hat Yai. Very unfamiliar, dingy, strange accomodations made for a pretty poor night’s sleep. Then, there weren’t enough people for the mini-bus in the morning, and our 8:30am departure time turned into 10:30. Which put me in Penang around 2:30pm, too late to start processing my visa that day.

So it’s Friday, and I am still here, chomping at the bit to leave, frustrated by the fact that there’s nothing I can do, cursing myself for not researching and looking into this whole visa issue better. I feel guilty that other teachers are covering my classes yet again. There’s a bakery down the street from my guesthouse that I will be stopping at to bring lovely goodies back for them. Bribery? Maybe. Thankfully, my finals aren’t scheduled until later in the week, so my students will have time to come to me and ask questions. I have been doing schoolwork and WASC work for a lot of the time, and I know that the next two weeks will be absolutely CRAZY- finals Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday, we leave with the 7^th graders for a cruise to Malaysia (yay… I am pretty sure I’m coming right back here to Penang…) and come back on Saturday. Monday and Tuesday are the last days of the school year. Somehow, someway, I have to grade EVERYTHING and get final grades entered and submitted by Wednesday at the latest, and then Meaghan and I are off to Indonesia for a month, meeting up with three friends!! All I have to do is keep my eye on this prize…

Happy Birthday to Me

Tomorrow I turn 28. I have always loved birthdays. I think they’re special, because it’s one day where you get to make someone feel loved and appreciated for doing nothing except existing in this world, and you get to show them how thankful you are for their existence in your realm of being. I like my own birthdays, because, well, I like to feel special. And I always like having a reason to celebrate.  

But for some reason, I am particularly excited about this one. Maybe it’s because I have a weird affinity for even numbers. I feel like they’re so much more balanced- they can be split exactly in half. They just seem easier to manage. But, maybe, and I haven’t really ever thought about it this way,  but maybe I like my birthday because I am thankful for my own existence. I appreciate those in my life- my friends and my family, and I think this is at present emphasized because this past year was a pretty difficult one for me. In my whole life, I have never felt so lost as I did this past year. I was so afraid of closing doors, missing opportunities, and making the wrong choice that I sat, stagnant. Which, I have now realized, is far worse. Honestly, my friends and my family were so supportive during this time- and so patient with me. I don't know what I would have done or if I would be where I am now if I didn't have them backing me. I did not know what to do with myself- I was on what I thought was a very straightforward, clear path, and all of a sudden, tables turned and everything I thought I wanted became inaccessible. I have always been the kind of person that believed if you wanted something bad enough, you would work hard and get it. I DID work hard. I DID want it, with a passion, and yet, somehow, I failed. The direction I thought I wanted to be headed in was all of a sudden a dead end.

I didn’t know if I was meant to be a teacher. If it was what I was meant to do, why was it so hard? Why was I struggling? My firm position clouded over, turned murky. My strong foothold became muddy from all the rain in my life, to continue this little metaphor, and I felt myself slipping. And I didn’t know what to do about it.  I bought myself as much time as possible, until finally I made choice. It wasn’t easy and it was overwhelming at the same time- like ripping off a band-aid, almost, so before I thought about it too hard or too much, I just bought my ticket here and did it. And NEVER, ever, ever, have I been so certain that the choice I made was the right one. What I have learned about teaching, my life, my choices, what I am capable of doing- it’s literally indescribable.

And so here I am, embarking upon another year of my life, and basking in this warm, humid, tropical air. I love myself, deeply and fully, and I haven’t felt this good in a very long time. I love what I am doing; I am proud of myself.

Today I took time out from WASC planning and organizing and new teacher contracts and student and parent handbooks and orientations and standards and learning objectives and participated in another teacher’s PE class during my “free” period. We played volleyball. It was just pure fun. It grounded me a little bit, if that makes any sense.

A little later, PE was interrupted by a prior teacher’s visit- she brought pen-pal letters from England for the students. It was joyous. We sat back and watched as the kids sat on the gym floor and ripped open the letters and read with such an excited fervor. They traded and shared the contents of each other's letters. I loved watching their expressions. One boy let out an excited yelp over his letter, and another boy next to him looked at me and said, “Teacher, he is behaving so SAVAGELY!” (a vocabulary word I went over a couple classes prior). “And Teacher, when he does that, I feel it’s so OBNOXIOUS” (another vocab word).  It made me laugh. And I was proud. They make me laugh every day, and they make me feel proud every day. I am doing something right. And I am loving it, and I love that.

One teacher I work with who I have grown really close to says this video reminds her of how I am right now... I have to say, most of the time, I quite agree. When I first watched it, I laughed so hard, but it was so spot on. I feel like I CAN do anything good, yeah, yeah. And what a lovely change in thinking that is.

My Very First Home-Cooked Meal in My Apartment....

When all you have is an electric plastic water-boiler (aka "teapot"), you become kind of limited. However, tonight I branched out, got a little creative with cooking methods, and voila! Capellini with blanched cherry tomatoes, holy basil, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper... Simple, yet not so much when you have no kitchen. But still delicious!